Prejudices and Reality

Prejudice	Violence only occurs to someone else, the abuser are people from other surroundings.
Reality	The abusers are ordinary people and we meet them every day and they are mostly not aggressive outside the family circle.
Prejudice	Violence means using only physical force.
Reality	Violence also means showing power, negligence, threats, isolation, contact ban, absolute control, treating a person as a sex object, economic dependence…not only using physical force.
Prejudice	The victims of violence provoke the abuser with their behaviour..
Reality	Nobody is to blame for the violence that he experiences. Not talking about violence is a consequence of fear from the abuser and his threats, as well as judgment from the environment.
Prejudice	Children are victims of violence only if someone maltreats them directly.
Reality	Domestic violence is also always violence against children, no matter if they are exposed to it directly. The children who grow up with violence mostly take their parents’ roles and become abusers themselves.
Prejudice	People use violence only when they are influenced by alcohol or drugs.
Reality	Alcoholism and drug addiction aren’t the cause of violence, but they can boost the frequency and the cruelty of violence.
Prejudice	Violence is committed by socially endangered or uneducated people.
Reality	Violence occurs in all social structures, regardless the education and economic status of the family.
Prejudice	A divorce can be expensive and a shame for the whole family.
Reality	Only court costs are to be paid in case of a divorce. The victim isn’t obliged to pay those costs if she has no money or she can demand that the abuser pays the costs. Starting a divorce process and its realization shows the maturity of the woman and the readiness to take the responsibility for her life and the life of her children.
Prejudice	The children are better with a father, even if he’s a bully.
Reality	In order for the children to have a normal psychophysical development, they need stability, security and support that can also come only from one parent.